I slipped the turtle necked white sweater over my head. The temperature's getting chilly. It's almost sunset, and I don't want to miss the view of the sun setting over the mountains.
I tucked my bag containing my laptop, digital camera, and Internet modem under my left arm. On my right, a bottle of wine balanced, just to warm me up in this cold place.
I left the old manor house that I rented. I threaded the small cobblestones around the patio down the trail going to the mountains. I walked a about half a mile. Finally seeing a spot where I may contain myself, I sat down the worn grass.
The view of the mountains was breathtaking. Since I was young, I really wanted to get here, in Sagada. I don't know when my obsession with this place started, but since I heard of the name, something inside me tells me that I should go here. And at the age that marks the quarter of a century, I finally made it.
I made it a point to go here alone. I don't want anyone trailing me around and telling me stories about whatever goddamn things concern them all. This is my escape from the ever-demanding life that I have in Manila. I've been through a lot, and I desperately need this.
I opened the bottle of wine and drank it straight from the bottle. Warmth filled my body. It was a good way to fight off the chilly atmosphere. About three gulps and I put it down.
I set up my laptop and Internet modem. I waited for the signal that the modem had connected with the Internet. As soon as it beeped, I immediately opened my blog.
Ha. My blog. For a decade, I have tried profusely to keep a blog. A year or more, I would stick with one address, and when bored, move with another. Then, I'd get tired and I'd stop. Then I'll come back on the circle again. A never-ending cycle took me in this world.
I'd met a fair set of friends there. But no one lasted long enough to be somebody whom I can really rely on to. In my in and out cycle, I know I can never make friends with anyone that long.
Surfed and surfed. That's all I did until the darkness enveloped my surroundings. My wine bottle is almost empty. And I don’t know why the heck am I doing staying on that spot.
I stumbled upon something. Ah, good old Blogger. My first love, first listener, my ever-first. I punched in my account and ransacked my brain for my password. Having successfully remembering it, I opened the blogs I kept there.
And there I kept reading and reading. My dreams, my frustrations, my emotions, my everything, my life. Tears were flowing from my eyes, but still I would laugh my heart out. I can’t believe I can be this crazy. My youth was flowing out of me.
I laughed. I cried. I smiled. As I reminisced everything, I can only wonder on what I have done with my life.
Maybe, now's the time to start all over again.
